wasting

I'm Wasting.












wastingminutes.wastingspace.
and thats why fromnow on.
ill try my









very best to stopwasting









andwandering











andhiding












anddestroying myself down.













because even though imake great efforts to stopwasting,















im still wasting all my efforts.












© 2011 the still air

Get In the Car

Transgressions and transformations.
Reincarnations of tattered souls. 
Remember what dreams are composed of,
Remember we are only fools.

If we don't accept changes,
And live strictly off of hypotheses,
The only change we could undergo,
Is end of friendships and new enemies.

You see our mind has a mind of it's own,
And within it is our functions,
And we control our functions,
So change is all part of that motion.

Openness is a saint. 
We cannot conduct energy,
Unless we accept all transgressions,
And become the transformer for the enemy. 

Everyone is the enemy,
And we are all due for new formation,
So please don't be scared,
when the lights touch down in new motions. 

Keep the car running. 
Keep the engines purr,
To be heard from a distance.
To be heard. 


© 2011 the still air

bring life back home

put the fire out inside me.
please stop this burning sensation.
please rem ve ev ry th ught.
give me slight desire for                   segregation.

heal the burns,            clot the wounds.
      rem ve       the          sc rs.
give me peace.        give me rest.
   take away the                              dark.

bring life back home .


© 2011 the still air

A heart stained white

White  w as a    difference,
and   now   i ncorpor ated
in t he   w heel  of   things
to   be    inter p ret ed

                    a s ;

worried
heart
ignoring
the
events.

i d  on't   surrender.  even if      i 'm  s tai ned w hite  .


© 2010 The Still Air

the moment

it was mad
and it was sad
and it was tradgic,
but it was magic
the way the events
lined perfectly and then

everything was fine.
no more crying.

no more falling out of line.

© 2010 The Still Air

scars

They’re permanent I promise,
I’m permanently not proud.
The feeling I felt for frequency,
was wasted where I wasn’t allowed.

We all want what we want,
and we taste tattered treason,
by beating and breaking our skin,
realizing resentment with no reason.

I am an animal,
afraid and alone,
but you and your methods,
hosted a heavenly home.

I might make myself
look like a loser inside,
but the true testimony of me,
might not make it from my mind.

You see the same settings,
and I perceive prominent people,
but I beat myself and burn brightly,
my superstructure, or so called steeple.

© 2010 The Still Air

awake.

I stand alone with my mind,
cause something doesn't seem right.
thinking that day, that hour, that time,
                                                        as the world falls asleep.

memories of unspoken pasts,
nights i don't want to remember.
my minds state of harass,
                                                        as the world lay asleep.

And we were nothing before,
and i don't remember what i saw,
but it's a thought i can't ignore,
                                                        as the world dreams asleep.

and as i dream awake,
i forgive, but i can't forget,
i suppose it's my mistake,
                                                        as I lay awake.

I know there is someone out there,
one who answers every question.
one who's awake and emits prayer.
                                                        are you laying awake?

© 2010 The Still Air

discrimination.

planting feet on firm foundation,
where i stand is solid plantation,
but i find now, i've no explanation,
I'm hiding all of my frustration,
inbetween cracks of fake elation,
cause now, I learn, i'm a creation,
finding my way to a new location,
I can't live up to expectations,
i'm just my own personification,
learning through infatuation.
Discovering the horrors of imagination,
finding it's only collaboration,
of my mind and fear of my desperation,
cause what i'm going through, you've no relation,
I've stormed the beaches of compassion,
hearing voices and screaming vibrations,
I'm trying so hard, to run from temptation,
but only finding more cheap sensations.
Sometimes my mind will take a vacation,
from scared to alone, then back to hesitation,
and i stutter my words, in my own deprivation,
but i'm finding peace in salvation.
being one with someone, allows integration,
back to health,
cause the only discrimination,
is from me to myself.

© 2010 The Still Air

walls.

are these muffled crIes,
 and stupId lullaby’s,
enough just to get by
 your sore, dIsconsolate heart?

             i am
        falling
                   falling

  failing...

Is your Inconsolable heart,
 rememberIng depart?
Is It mIssIng a part?
 or Is It mIssIng out?

               i am
                               calling
        calling

  failing...

Is there somethIng InsIde,
 that scares away your butterflIes?
that takes all your prIde?
 that turns your lIt heart to dawn?

 i am
      watching
                watching

   waiting...

waIting for a tIme where doors are opened?
 when you can depend,
on someone as close as a frIend?
 or just for someone’s heart?

                             tell me,
       when i am left between
                                  four symmetrical walls,
someone like me is no longer
            struck by calls?

makes me wonder...


                 god put,
   everything around me,
                     and called me his own,
and the things as useless to me
       as a telephone,

make me wonder...

               wonder why,
          i was put on this earth
 with everyone else,
yet i am seeing no signs
                                of the slightest pulse,

so why am i alive?

why
                do i sit talking to walls
   when i should be talking with someone?
why
                do i stand in awe of others talent,
   when i am merely as talented as them?
why
                do i dread life’s failures,
   when i should be learning from them?
why
                when i am given something wonderful,
     i simply let it drift away?
why
                                   do i do the things I do,
           when i am the one who hates them?
why
             does my mind wander,
          when the path is right in front?

                                                              i am learning that life,
                                       is not good enough for all of us,
                             but, for me, the only strife,
          is between me and a wall.

                           So a glimpse to my future.
              falling
        falling




  failing...

© 2010 The Still Air

Alive.

Help, a word commonly used when one is troubled,
But my trouble won't stop, and help isn't the word I would've used.
I think just a few more drinks, I'll be fine... I'll be fine even when I've stumbled.
I feel them at my back, laughing, God, Why are they so amused?

love... Love? well, I never new real love.
True I had her every now and again. It was just her to myself
but she.. she seemed so... so proud of,
so damn proud of herself.

And the chemicals. Yes! The depressants,
Thank God for the narcotics that filled my breath.
who knew such wonderful things could come from plants,
and... and... fuck, I can see my death.

I was drunk at the wheel, summer of 08.
They said "get a taxi", but I was out of my mind.
If they had just helped instead letting me take the wheel of fate...
It's not my fault, right? cause something tells me it is... something inside

I lay here now... alone, but alive.
I'll cling onto life, no matter what's happened.
I know... I know I should've, could've strived,
but, lets face it, we all get distracted.

So as I lie here on my bedroom floor, tears...
tears across my face and scars on my arms,
I'm confused, and I doubted you for years.
but you... you can take me from worlds reach... from the worlds harm.

Help, it's hard enough just to think I'm alive...

© 2010 The Still Air